I've read this thread with increasing dismay.
It is sacriligeous in the extreme and I can no longer hold my peace.
I am an arborotheist. We are a small, but rapidly increasing, spiritual and religious order tracing our roots (sic) to miracles performed by the New Forest Oak specifically aiding the Norman invasion of England in 1066.
There is not time in this post to summarise the many lines of historical evidence which authenticate our Faith. In any case Faith is not about historical evidence. Just take it from me that we worship trees. The druids, of course, realised something of the true importance of trees to the universe, but then confused things by erecting large and massively wasteful stone monuments and killing animals for purposes other than food.
The Tree is more than just root and branch. It is a symbol and embodiment of the higher one who created all. We animate life-forms, with our brutish short lives and proud possession of futile motility, cannot come close to understanding true Treeishness. But some have tried (Tolkien, etc). And through the power and sacrifice of the sacred Tree we too, puny animals that we are, can become one with the arboreal spirit that lies deep inside all of us.
The life of any Tree, let alone the sacred Tree, is not an easy one. We, who follow,expect persecution and mockery. But what has been done in this thread to a biological genus imbued with such spiritual munificence is beyond the pale. How would you like it if I poked fun and made cannibalistic jokes about your prophets or Gods? Pretty easy to do in case of the Book religions, but it would be inappropriate and hurtful.
So: respect the Tree, or accept that you will receive e-ms of outrage from Tree followers throughout the world.
Trees Are Dangerous
Last edited by tomclarke on Sat May 12, 2012 2:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Two points:
1) More evidence we should eat more nuts.
2) Brings to light the fact that trees eat people. Roots. Didn't think of that earlier. How horrible. And more so, further evidence that we must eradicate this menance to humanity and we should also encourage the crushing of this now apparent Terrorist Group, Nurture and Understand Trees (NUTs)! We could call the effort "Roasted NUTs".
1) More evidence we should eat more nuts.
2) Brings to light the fact that trees eat people. Roots. Didn't think of that earlier. How horrible. And more so, further evidence that we must eradicate this menance to humanity and we should also encourage the crushing of this now apparent Terrorist Group, Nurture and Understand Trees (NUTs)! We could call the effort "Roasted NUTs".
The development of atomic power, though it could confer unimaginable blessings on mankind, is something that is dreaded by the owners of coal mines and oil wells. (Hazlitt)
What I want to do is to look up C. . . . I call him the Forgotten Man. (Sumner)
What I want to do is to look up C. . . . I call him the Forgotten Man. (Sumner)
Not sure whether the problem is lack of theological or biological understanding.ladajo wrote:Two points:
1) More evidence we should eat more nuts.
2) Brings to light the fact that trees eat people. Roots. Didn't think of that earlier. How horrible. And more so, further evidence that we must eradicate this menance to humanity and we should also encourage the crushing of this now apparent Terrorist Group, Nurture and Understand Trees (NUTs)! We could call the effort "Roasted NUTs".
I've got just one word for you:
Armillaria
You are advocating Biological Warfare?
We should talk to the lawyers first.
Wait a minute! You are a self proclaimed NUT. That means this is merely a ploy to suggest Biological Warfare against trees, so you can use this as an Information Warfare weapon against us.
Hah! I see through your weak ruse, NUT. I will take this matter to the Beavers, Moths, and General Contracters.
Stand by to be Roasted, NUT!
We should talk to the lawyers first.
Wait a minute! You are a self proclaimed NUT. That means this is merely a ploy to suggest Biological Warfare against trees, so you can use this as an Information Warfare weapon against us.
Hah! I see through your weak ruse, NUT. I will take this matter to the Beavers, Moths, and General Contracters.
Stand by to be Roasted, NUT!
The development of atomic power, though it could confer unimaginable blessings on mankind, is something that is dreaded by the owners of coal mines and oil wells. (Hazlitt)
What I want to do is to look up C. . . . I call him the Forgotten Man. (Sumner)
What I want to do is to look up C. . . . I call him the Forgotten Man. (Sumner)
You see, we can detect the stink of armillarian tendencies, and out those who have hidden hyphal infestation.ladajo wrote:You are advocating Biological Warfare?
We should talk to the lawyers first.
Wait a minute! You are a self proclaimed NUT. That means this is merely a ploy to suggest Biological Warfare against trees, so you can use this as an Information Warfare weapon against us.
Hah! I see through your weak ruse, NUT. I will take this matter to the Beavers, Moths, and General Contracters.
Stand by to be Roasted, NUT!
Well, I'm glad we brought up the closely linked matter of tree roots and their evil genius.
Now we all know what happens on this forum when anyone is foolish enough to mention ... dare I say it ... climate change. But do you know about the schemes trees have developed to alter climate?
No, no, not that smog thing. This goes deeper, literally. The trees with tap roots, among the most notorious of which are oaks, hickorys, and walnuts, turn out to have a devious trick. In years with abundant surface moisture, they'll collect water from their surface roots and then send the surplus down their tap roots to store it deep. That's right ... they're bankers!
Then in dry times, they pump it back from the depths and not only use it for themselves, but distribute it to their neighbors, the lowly undergrowth. Altruistic, you say? Hogwash! Apart from being blatantly socialist redistribution of wealth, what they're up to is making sure their neighbors don't become tinder-dry. They're protecting themselves from fire!
And at the same time they're hoarding water, they're hoarding carbon. Together, these are the most important materials for life. The damned things have a racket going, a system for regulating life for their own ends, up to and including the climate. Its a conspiracy, I tell you!
What's in those nuts, anyway?
Now we all know what happens on this forum when anyone is foolish enough to mention ... dare I say it ... climate change. But do you know about the schemes trees have developed to alter climate?
No, no, not that smog thing. This goes deeper, literally. The trees with tap roots, among the most notorious of which are oaks, hickorys, and walnuts, turn out to have a devious trick. In years with abundant surface moisture, they'll collect water from their surface roots and then send the surplus down their tap roots to store it deep. That's right ... they're bankers!
Then in dry times, they pump it back from the depths and not only use it for themselves, but distribute it to their neighbors, the lowly undergrowth. Altruistic, you say? Hogwash! Apart from being blatantly socialist redistribution of wealth, what they're up to is making sure their neighbors don't become tinder-dry. They're protecting themselves from fire!
And at the same time they're hoarding water, they're hoarding carbon. Together, these are the most important materials for life. The damned things have a racket going, a system for regulating life for their own ends, up to and including the climate. Its a conspiracy, I tell you!
What's in those nuts, anyway?