WARNING sign

[Tom Ligon]

I am working on a sign for the driveway. In this day and age, you can't be too careful. We already have a couple of signs up for the honeybees, but then there is everything else.

What am I leaving out?

WARNING
VENOMOUS SNAKES, STINGING INSECTS
WILD ANIMALS, PREDATORS
STRONG MAGNETS IN USE
SURVEILANCE CAMERAS
SOUND RECORDING EQUIPMENT
SATELLITES AND AIRCRAFT
MAY BE OVERHEAD
CONSTRUCTION, SCIENCE PROJECTS
VEHICLES, EARTH MOVING EQUIPMENT
TREES, ROOTS, ROCKS, HOLES
ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION
HIGH VOLTAGE, FIREARMS IN USE
GRAVITY IN FULL EFFECT
CRANKY OLD CURMUDGEON
I WOULD KEEP OUT IF I WERE YOU

[paperburn1]

Biohazard?

[GIThruster]

DANGER: ROCK FALLING ZONE
(includes astroids and stalactites)

[krenshala]

Other than GIThruster's "FALLING ROCK" addition, I can't think of anything aside from DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE (DHMO).

I'm very much a fan of the "GRAVITY IN FULL EFFECT" warning.

[choff]

Blasting, land mines, sinkhole, ecologically sensitive area, nesting season, bears spotted in area, underground septic tank, beware of dog.

[mvanwink5]

Soft air, hard ground, falling tree limbs, hidden roots.

[Tom Ligon]

An early draft was going to say "BUT NO DOG". Its the one hazard we don't have.

Coyotes, yes, but we don't own a dog.

Bears, definitely, and a reported mountain lion sighting years ago.

Some of the suggestions above are covered in the general language, but I just realized I should put in "SHARP OBJECTS".

[choff]

The Pickton farm had a sign that said Beware of pitbull with AIDS.

You don't want to know.

[paperburn1]

you should also put on the sign

This signs name is exhibit A or at least that's what they will call in court

[Tom Ligon]

you should also put on the sign

This signs name is exhibit A or at least that's what they will call in court

I like it!

[KitemanSA]

An early draft was going to say "BUT NO DOG". Its the one hazard we don't have.

Coyotes, yes, but we don't own a dog.

Beware of Stray Dogs?

[D Tibbets]

Don't forget all of the various diseases that may have animal vectors locally. A few that come to mind is rabies, Lymes disease, several types of encephalitis, plague (or is that only in the SouthWest?), tularemia, etc. A little research could probably come up with several hundred possibilities. Then there are slugs (yuk!), spider bites, pollen or mold allergies, silicosis from air born dust, carbon monoxide poisoning from underground coal mine fires (any in the area?), increased UV exposure in the mountains, etc.

Dan Tibbets

[KitemanSA]

Mountains. Hmmm. Granitic? Radon, Polonium, etc? Radiation?

[Tom Ligon]

Mountains. Hmmm. Granitic? Radon, Polonium, etc? Radiation?

Nah, the Appalachians are mostly old seafloor sediments, and they are OLD, I mean, really, really OLD. Older even than MSimon. I suppose one could find a little K40 left in them, but as radiological hazards go, too low even to excite a lawyer.

There was some uranium in them a long, long time ago, but it washed down into Virginia and now makes radon in basements around here.

I've found a black widow spider up there, but the pattern on it was red bars on the back instead of a red hourglass on the belly. I had to look that one up. Turns out it is a Damnyankey Black Widow. They must have switched from the Southern Black Widow when they seceded from Virginia during the Civil War.

Maybe I should change to "VENOMOUS ARTHROPODS."

[Stubby]

PMS?
Menopause?